Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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