Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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