She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
