Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
