one might say we're banned from that church
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
