I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
