in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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