She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
