If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
