Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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