can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
