You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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