So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
