Sponge bath it is.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
