Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
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