did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I currently don't understand fingers.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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