I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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