I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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