I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
