Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
