I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
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