1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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