he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
