I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
so explain again why im purple
no
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
