playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
