we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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