I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
