dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
