C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
