erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
