can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
