Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Boobs are out for the taking
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
