you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
