it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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