Don't make out with my wife yet
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
