Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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