Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
smell my finger.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So much rum. So many feels.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
