Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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