I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
