hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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