He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
