Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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