I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
