I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
