Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
