I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
