Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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