your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I have aggressive nipples.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
