Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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