ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
