Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
