My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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