i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
